You may have come to this section looking for the answers: what is the right way to support a survivor? What should I do to help my ________ who is a survivor? There is no ‘right’ answer to that question. Some articles will tell you to ‘be there’- but what do you do when you can’t? What if being there makes it worse? These articles almost always claim to tell you what it means to support a survivor and what it looks like, and they don’t get at the crux of the reality of what it really looks like to be a support person. There is no handbook. There is no set of instructions that if you follow them perfectly- you’ll never trigger, upset or hurt a survivor you care about. Yes, you should believe the survivor. Yes, you shouldn’t judge what they see as ‘justice’. Yes, you should be willing to listen and to hear what they are telling you. All of that is important, but it doesn’t even come close to describing or starting a conversation about what it looks like to support a survivor.

I want this blog to offer something different to support people: I hope that what you will find here is helpful to you- not because it claims to give you all the right answers, but because it is funny, honest, and at times, hard to read. It’s not all rainbows and ‘easy’ or ‘story mode’ playthroughs. The people writing these posts are people who I knew would be honest about their experiences- despite knowing that I’d be reading [and posting] what they wrote. I also knew that they would be honest about what’s hard about supporting me, what they do when I am triggered and how it makes them feel.

Read, comment, save and share what resonates with you. Be kind and be critical of what you read- they are not mutually exclusive. I urge you to take in what each of the writers has to offer; bring with you what seems helpful and leave what doesn’t. You know your situation better than anyone else and at the same time- you are not alone.