You know, it’s funny how illness has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. Lately, I’ve found myself spending more time than usual binge-watching movies and TV shows. Now, for most people, that might sound like a dream come true. But for me, and those who know me best, it’s a telltale sign that I’m not exactly feeling top-notch.

Surviving sexual abuse is a journey marked by various challenges, both physical and emotional. For me, one of the most profound impacts of my trauma has been the development of a chronic illness, Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. As I navigate the ups and downs of my health, I am constantly reminded of the interconnectedness between my past experiences and my present reality.

The onset of my chronic illness coincided with a period of extreme stress in my life. It was a time when my body and mind were grappling with the aftermath of abuse, compounded by genetic predispositions, acute illnesses like the flu, and a recent period of extreme stress. The symptoms manifested instantaneously, with thyroid hormone levels fluctuating and continued acute illness resulting in a diagnosis that would shape my life from that point on.

Living with a chronic illness, like Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, means grappling with its impact on every aspect of daily life. From the relentless fatigue to the sensitivity to temperature and the physical discomfort, each symptom serves as a constant reminder of the trauma I endured. It’s a burden that I carry with me, a silent companion that shapes my experiences and challenges my resilience.

Being sick, for me, is not just about physical discomfort; it’s a reminder of vulnerability and trauma. It’s a flashback to the days when I felt powerless to defend myself against abuse. Even now, as an adult, the sensation of weakness triggers memories of a time when I didn’t have the energy to fight back. The fear of sleep, rooted in the uncertainty of what the night might bring, lingers in the background of my illness, amplifying feelings of vulnerability.

Yet, amidst the struggles, there is resilience and hope. I have learned to prioritize self-care and advocate for my health, seeking out medical support and therapy to navigate the complexities of trauma and illness. While the physical scars may never fully heal, I am committed to reclaiming agency over my body and rewriting the narrative of my survival.

In recent years, platforms like TikTok have shed light on the experiences of those living with chronic illnesses, fostering a sense of community and understanding. Through sharing my story, I hope to contribute to this dialogue, raising awareness and destigmatizing the intersection of trauma and chronic illness.

My journey toward healing is ongoing, marked by both triumphs and setbacks. Each day presents new challenges, but also opportunities for growth and resilience. By embracing my experiences and sharing my story, I aim to inspire others to find strength in adversity and to never lose hope in the face of hardship.

In navigating the intersection of trauma and chronic illness, I have discovered the power of self-compassion and community support. Together, we are forging a path toward a brighter and more hopeful future, where trauma and illness no longer hold power over our lives. Through solidarity and advocacy, we are reshaping the narrative of survival, reclaiming our agency, and fostering a culture of empathy and understanding. My journey is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and I am committed to continuing this journey with courage, compassion, and unwavering determination.